Excerpt from the introduction to Inspirations for... Singleness   To help me and other singles understand some of the complexities and/or stages we go through as singles, I developed something called the Four Stages of Singleness that I personally have experienced over the years.   STAGE ONE is where we focus on God's word or what the bible says about us and marriage and we're hopeful, expectant and full of faith. We're ready and trusting God for our husband or wife. Whatever happens we go back to
the bible and find words that encourage us during the waiting period.
Then as time moves on we move on to STAGE TWO where we focus on our feelings, not faith. We begin to wonder whether we will ever meet that right person. We begin to doubt and, depending on our age, we start to watch the biological clock as fear creeps in and, if you're not careful, desperation. I believe this is when we are most vulnerable and can make poor choices based on emotions and feelings and not God's best for us.
Then there's STAGE THREE, which is when our focus turns to what we see happening to other people. As frustration, sometimes even anger and resentment step in we think or use statements like “It's not fair” as we compare ourselves to others wondering why he/she is getting married when in our opinion we have been more faithful or consistent!
Finally, the only way is up when we reach STAGE FOUR. This is where we focus on God. We recognise again that He's all we need! We begin to look up to the Author and Finisher of our faith and realise that God is God and even if for whatever reason you were never to marry God is all you need as you develop a real relationship, not denial, but real intimacy with the God of all.
I have personally found that the more I spend time in prayer, fulfilling my purpose, which is to help other people to become whole mind, body and spirit and becoming all God has created me to be, the less time I spend in Stages Two and Three looking at what I don't have. This allows me to spend more and more time in Stages One and Four where I recognise that God has my life in His hands and He knows the desires of my heart. So if I ask Him for bread, He won't give me a stone, how much more, a husband instead of singleness!